S.H.I.T. happens

one lesson which i learnt the hard way is not to trust people that easily. the problem is that i know i am not supposed to trust them easily and each and every time, i make an exception to the rule saying no ways it cannot be this person who will be mean to me. here comes my foolishness in thinking that world is either black or white,neglecting the deepness of the shades of gray which suppresses my each and every move to rise to the top. The makers of the resident evil probably got inspired by the B school life. Each and every one trying to push the other to the source of human blood.Last week went in me cribbing that my life is so boring that i want something to happen in my life. nothing good happens. never. it is always an unwanted complication which occurs to give me some unwanted anxiety and disturbance.how many times should i try to put on my thinking, witch cap to out beat the other person, only to figure out that they have already reached the next stage by the time i had finished my thinking process.am i slow? i dont have an answer to that. Am i that good that i am not able to think craftily? i doubt that too. what am i.always caught between good and bad, emotional and practical feelings, emotive and stone faced, beautiful and ugly looking,"good person" and "bitch"...am i calculative or do i just analyze too much of the situations which leads me nowhere.neither do i use the analysis in achieving my dreams nor do i have the peace of mind acquired due to lack of excess mental,unproductive mental activity...am i insensitive to people's problems or am i just protecting myself against a let down by the other person..am i having too much of expectation from the other person or am i justified in being non committal to them....i dont have an answer to any of these.people advise me to go with the flow. the problem is in identifying which is the right flow..pessimistic view of the placements, rosy caricature of the jobs...it does not stop with the placements. everything in life is a fight...its not that i am against fighting..i have had my share of those.. it is just that i hate fighting in an uneven terrain where i dont know the cause of the battle...it is the same feeling which you get when your own sword turns against you and the pain sears through you..unable to find the spot of origin nor able to find the spot of termination... life sucks...