after a long hiatus........

hullooooooo.... i know its been quite a while since i blogged. you can blame it on the way the" anna university" functions or simply, my laziness... so you might have been wondering on what the angelic devil had been upto these four months?? well, i was just busy with my semester exams and loads of other academic stuff... i finally finished writing my resume and i suddenly realised that i havent done anything worthy of or something which is could be proud of in these 19 years of existence.. i dint know what i should write in the extra-curricular activities column nor did i know what are my negatives and positives. In the end i just ended up magnifying the smallest thing which i had done and succeeded in giving this image of an avid blogger..lol..for instance, today i had a mock interview session with tcs and seriously shook the ground under my feet.. suddenly i am overwhelmed with the feeling of insignificance and i am desperately searching for a long time goal which i could proudly tell my interviewers about and what not... you could probably blame the society for the state which i am currently in.. cut-throat competition, the necessity to sell yourself as a produc,trying to sound candid at the same time not being out-spoken ... the perspective differs from person to person.. i am not sure whether every third year student is facing the same kind of turmoil which i am currently facing... i feel lost in the gloomy darkness of the " big, bad world" out their which has already engulfed me.. i seem to be transcending through realms ruled by chaos and confusion..to add to all these, i am currently reading this book called" the monk who sold his ferrari" ... this is loosely based on how a guy finds his soul and happiness a la alchemist story.. i guess thats all for now...see ya hopefully soon...

age factor

when i was in the first grade, i used to look wistfully at the fifth grade students wondering when i will be in that grade.when i finally did land up in the fifth grade, my eyes began to look at the middle school students and so it continued till my eyes were set on the twelfth people... i wondered when will people call me"akka" and ask for my help in their subjects. i wondred when i would be old enough to vote of get my driving license. the worst part is that when i did get my driving license, i dint experience any of the jubiliation which i had thought i would go through in my early years of my existence.the curious fact was that when i was in fifth, i regarded the tweflth students as being very old and when i myself, came to that position, i was this ever growing kid of my mummy..and when i thought my wishes will finally cease, i started thinking how good and better it would be when i enroll myself in college. and yes, the same nivya-syndrome started in the first year of my college too.. i wanted to be in the third year.. now that i have recently had my 19th birthday, i suddenly realize how old i have actually become.. i now realise what my mum meant by" enjoy your school days, they wont come back to you..." i now yearn to go back to ym school days which were seriously heaven.. now as the years roll by, i suddenly dont want to grow up and become that responsible person that everyone is expected to become at some point of time or the other.i dont want to go to the fourth year for i fear what will happen to me when i pass out of college...now , when i look back at the younger ones, i feel they are feeling the same thing which i myself faced... they want to be in my position and i, in theirs... i look at the school going kids wishing that i could go back to those days of playing on the streets and coming back with the soiled clothes..when i wanted to earn and be independent in fifth standard, people said that it can wait for few more years . now the same people are advising me on taking up a job whereas i am expecting the same old reassurance that it can wait for a few more years. the actual thought of working doesnt scare me as much as the thought of getting the tag line"she is ready for marriage". i have seen many females succumb to this plot woven by the parents. first settle in a job and then the bridegroom comes in search of you. i have nothing against the insstitution of marriage . its just that i feel it would be too much of burden and responsibility placed on my tender shoulders and i dont want to end up one in the millions of girls who end up marrying just because that was next in the agenda. in that sense, i feel i dont think like i am 20. the mind is still caught up in its innocence and its refusal to believe that the world has, indeed changed and its orthodox ways is making me a rebel..

wedding hues!!!

today was pretty eventful.. no electricity in the college, wearing a helmet for the first time and then hitting a cyclist(belive me, i havent hit anybody when i WASNT wearing a helmet), and then, attending a christian wedding!!! it is for the first time that i witnessed a christian wedding... i completely fell in love with thier white gown and the bridesmaid(esp.best man..lol)... the entire custom of dancing captivated everyone present there.. pity i coudnt dance because i dint have a partner...the wedding cake was sooo huge and the whole fan fare was pretty exciting. the only sore spot was that the bridegroom was a hindu and he had converted himself... well, no comments about that!!

tagged:)

well, here is another round of tagging..
1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it?
the scar on my left elbow. it reminds me of how i applied the brakes of the scooty when travelling at a speed of 65kmph.seriously idiotic act of mine
2. What does your phone look like?
my phone looks like a well, phone.. i prefer nokia to any other brand for the simple reason that nothing happens to it how many ever times i drop it down.

3. What is on the walls of your bedroom?
two posters, one saying" dont straighten the mess, you will foul up the system" and anbother one saying" do not disturb, great mind at work( with denis cartoon sleeping happily)"

4. What is your current desktop picture?
my picture taken at ooty.

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?
to each, his own...

6. What do you want more than anything right now?
i want rest and a good holiday!!!

7. What time were you born?
morning september 13... perfect virgo... systematic, perfectionist,romantic to the core!!
8. Are your parents still together?
Yup

9. Last person who made you cry?
first and last person who always makes me cry is shah rukh khan. everytime i start watching any movie of his(esp. kal ho na ho), i just end up crying whenever he cries.. i know it sounds very uhhhh.. what to do....

10. What is your favorite perfume/cologne?
davidoff cool water.
11. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex?
i used to like blondes and blue eyed guys when i was young( courtesy:nick carter of the backstreet boys). now it has changed to black hair and slight brown eyes.

12. What are you listening to?
saroja!samaan nikalo!!!!!!!!!!
13. Do you get scared of the dark?
nope..i love the dark

14. Do you like pain killers?
nope.
15. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
hmmm... havent met THE guy and hence, not shy!!!

16. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
curd rice with avakai!!

17. Who was the last person you made mad?
my mum.. she always makes me mad!!!

18. Is anyone in love with you?
definitely yesh!!!!

back with a bang!!

its been long time since i posted...well, it was un avoidable break.. i guess hence forthw ill flood the site with posts..lol.. what ahve i been upto for the past 2 weeks?.. i would as usual say" nothing much".. i had been to trivandrum on an official tour.. dint get to see much of the place but i can assure you , the place rocks .. the backwaters, the innumerous coconut trees, the payam puri( a delicacy which has the banana fried, similar to the bhaji.one grievance which i had is that there are no saravana bhavans in trivandrum and i swear its seriously hard to get decent vegetarian food in this place. if you manage to get it, the rice would be the par boiled rice which according to me, doesnt at all taste good. overall the place is awesome with its pristine landscape . i was mesmerised by the sight of ernakulam, chenganacheri,palaghat and kolam. these places are absolutely too good.. that too if you are fond of greenery with solitude, these places should be your first try. now coming to the comical part of the story, i got to wear a dhoti!!!! the padmanabaswamy temple forbades anybody wearing trousers, so... well, i just tied the dhoti on top of my normal salwar kameez and believe me , it was funny.... see ya in a short while with a better post...

tagged!!!

this post is all about tagging and how i got tagged..... Here you go with 8 random facts/habits about me...... It's quite revealing I tell you. The rules of this game:
Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves
People who are tagged need to write posts in their own blog about their eight things and post these rules
At the end of your post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names

• i love to talk non-stop and i guess i can go on and on talking about anything on this earth.
• i cant without food especially chat items and i swear by the bhel poori at gangotri's.. i practically live there...
• i am a true virgo. pretty systematic , highly critical and often rude, short tempered to the core. i take pride in calling myself a near perfectionist.
• i looove hill stations and i will anyday prefer them to any beach resort for the simple reason that i love the cold and chilly places especially the himalayas. i just love the streams and the snow capped peaks , the whole pristine atmosphere.i also love the trekking and other sports which these peaks have got to offer.
• i cant live without shopping. i know that i sound like a typical girl at this juncture but seriously, i love it!!! be it pondy bazaar road side shopping or burning a hole shopping in globus.. i jus love it.
• i am stubborn and i love it that way. if i want to do something, i will go to any extent for having fulfilling it. be it a mere whimsical thought of having a bhel poori to paying back on my enemy.
• i love my independence and i hate anything which curbs it. i like taking decisions by myself and ability to take care of myself without depending on anybody else.
• i hate hyppocrisy of any kind. i am pretty frank and i expect the same from others. i hate anybody who talk behind my back.

there goes the eight random facts about myself.i am just breaking the tag by not tagging more people for the simple reason that they have already posted about this..

vendetta..

everytime i come across this particular word, it puts me on a retrospective path. it simply means that once you get duped and you hold the grudge forever or till the time you get on par with that person. well, i have read my share of mario puzo novels and i feel this whole concept gained publicity after the likes of godfather and other such movies based on novels. i have often let my imagination run wild when i read about the dons seeking revenge and the ever powerful corleone or the handsome michael.anybody who be enamoured wth the idea of having everybody in your control and the thugs, etc, etc!!!the fruits of revenge are indeed sweet. i would choose to disagree with all those philosophers who advice the commoners on forgiving and having a great heart. crap!!i would say that the greatest pleasure comes in seeing the person suffer. gone are the days when you just felt GOD would take care of everything and just hope that the person would come around and atone his sins. it just doesnt happen anymore. more than seeing the eprson suffer, i guess i am too influenced by mario puzo and i would hence like to derive the self satisfaction that i indeed carried out my revenge and i am powerful on my own.i know that some people might comprehend it as simply childish but isnt child the father of man???

dream journey- 1

i stare at the photo thinking how it will be if the person comes face to face. i stare at it admiring the twinkle in the lucid eyes, the soft texture of the fair skin, the curve of the eyebrow. i am mesmerised by that boyish grin having a hint of mischief .the soft bristle of the 2 day old beard kindles few thoughts in my mind. i wish to go on a long drive with this person .i wish to sit on the sands watching the waves roll back and forth.i wish to see the sunrise on the terrace feeling a moment of absolute bliss with the person whom i cherish and absolutely worship.many more scenes are etched for eternity in my mind and i would cherish them as long as i live .the warmth of the intimate hug and that long soul searching look which gives me this feeling that i afterall, have one person whom i can depend upon and its seriously rare when a person feels secure and i guess i am secure!i can very easily imagine the breeze whizzling in my ears and the sun winking at me from the horizon. i have always wanted to convey few thoughts to him but whenever i see him, i cant find my voice. yes, its the same old eyes which makes me tongue tied and send butterflies flying in my stomach.the very presence sends shivers down my spine and makes me feel like there can be nothing better than this. the voice flows like honey in my ears and i guess it can never be better than this. i stare , stare and stare back at the photo . yes, it makes me very happy to see that smile, those eyes which are never short of twinkle. that crooked smile which makes me go weak in the knees. what can i do to come out of this?.i am sitting on the beach waiting for that hand to embrace me. i am waiting...

the real IT world....

i am currently in wipro sholinganalur.. blogging this post from here..i have come here to undergo inplant training.. and guess what am doing.. sleeping and passing time.. big time vetti..eating in the cafeteria and sleeping in my bay.. the computer has proxy setting and is not allowin me to access any site..

the final moments of nostalgia

today, the batch of students who have just now passed out of this institution(read concentration camp) had come to the college for some stupid reason of theirs.i could see from the way they looked at us that they longed to be a part of the college till eternity... the clandestine lovers looked at the various nooks and corners of the imposing structure with a longing , the way we cherish certain photos of our own tumultous childhood.the pundits look at the first benches of the classes thorugh which they would have progressed in the due course of 4 years, the wood bearing a faded look .likewise, everybody had a reason to look at the various aspects of their cherished college years. wanna know what i might look at when i come to get the so called TCCC( or is it spelled otherwise, am not too sure on this)?..
1) the corner before my classroom where i used to stand and press my ears to the wall in order to figure out which teacher is supossedly teaching in my class..
2)the last bench of my class where i never got to sit.
3) the fan in my second year classroom where i had once sworn that i would hang my class teacher ( actaully, its not late now.. i have still got 2 more years..lol). on second thoughts, i guess i would currently prefer to hang my HOD rather than my class teacher.
4)the canteen where i got first hand experience on how your food will taste if it had bees, flies, one dirty hand to kneed the dough and pot pourri of other such nauseating things.
5) the drainage opposite coffee shop where we used to sit pretty often and not even on a single day, have we got a coffee..lol
6) the various peanut brained teachers of my department who thought that speaking in englipis was a sin and tried to repremand us .
7) the sir who used to give the kangaroo a run for its jumping skills( find out who ths character is!!) who was incharge of our communication skills lab( oh yeah, i did learn quite a bit of words like using ok before, after and in the middle of every sentence and the art of conversing with so much of confidence).
8) one gentleman in this jungle is my math sir and i wont see him with a joyful heart because he has tried each and every sem to motivate me and i personally feel that i ahve failed him each and every sem.
9) now this 9th reason i feel should be given to the civil HOD for obvious reasons( yeah, i was one of the lot who used to get the OD get signed by none other than the great!!)
10) i am running out of reasons and i guess i would finally say that , may be i wont even come to get it personally .. after all, these wreent the best part of my life!!!

engulfed....

i can see the mountains at a distance, the pristine peaks mocking at the human civilisation . i can see the stream gushing out from its source with such force that it makes the man take a step back on sighting it.the vineyards are doing brisk business as it is the time for harvest and yet another batch of colonial workers have descended in this particular work site.everything looks beautiful and serene.i am standing at the edge of the forest , very near the waters of the great river. the forest is rich in under growth with so many creepers and other such plant growth that i am not able to see the mud surface at all.i am so caught up with the activity going on in the neighbourhood that i fail to notice the creepers which are slowly getting entangled with my feet. i look down to see the creepers creeping resembling the sight of hundreds of snakes slithering menacingly towards their pray.i try to shift my feet but in vain. my feet seem to be stuck in glue. i am unable to move them and i glance at the people who are working near by. i realise that these creepers are present at their feet too and they are so much engrossed in their work that they fail to notice it. suddenly , i realised that the waters of the serene river were over flowing the banks and were moving at an alarming speed . i then realise that this is yet another revengeful act of the nature....

happyness...

happiness is one thing which can only be chased after... very true.. though i realised it pretty late ( after i watched the flick" the pursuit of happyness" precisely) in life, i feel that i am in a way better off now.. i know that i can never be happy and this realisation makes me happy...i guess this is just one of the vicious cycles present in nature.. melancholy, i stumbled upon by mistake and i allowed myself to be engulfed by the dull trenody of life..i guess study hols brings the best out of everybody... lol... i guess am growing crazier day by day... electromagnetic fields created hysterisis and this propagated a negative signal through the conducting medium ( a la the body) and i guess i cant continue it further for the simple fact that i dunno much about any of these subjects to continue.. lol... the only thing which keeps me going right now is the prospect of gettin one solid month as hols( i dunno how much of the rumour is true)...

kanamapettai

last night, my friend and i decided that we need to get the required books for the current sem and so launched this trip( u will find out y it is called so) to the book bank for which we dint know the route... we were tossled here and there in the narrow lanes of saidapet and we were at the mercy of all those vendors on the road for the route... gawd, it was seriously hellish... in the run, we lost the helmet which i was using as a basket..fortunately or unfortunately, i was the pillion rider ... we took the zig zag path and in the process, i got to see some fabulous temples which i havent even heard of...sorry, i cant remember the name but it was written" siva siva " outside..we got the required books and i should say, i finally got to see the famous kanamapettai last night...it was kinda spooky.... well,this journey was plagued by the bike refusing to start at some places and we getting scolded by strangers for not using the indicator and i guess the best part ws that the bike absolute no brake .... this was alarming at certain times but we did manage to tredge our way through the maze of streets....

arrogance...

some people call it arrogance and some choose to call it a mere statement out of pure jeolous feelings.. you can also attribute it to the bad feeling that the other person is all what you are not or what you can never be.. recently , a friend of mine just called me arrogant because i dint listen to her advices on certain issues... now is that arrogance?... i would rather state it as having the insight of knowing whats wrong and whats not by myself ... and sometimes, when people just talk behind the back about me, i just feel that they are ,in fact cribbing because i am able to do all those which they cant do or plainly, they dont have the guts to do...now, is it really bad knowing that you are arrogant?..i dont think so its bad knwoing that you are to some extent arrogant... you might even say that the above statement is present to indicate that i am arrogant... may be i am, most probably I AM....i am in fcat proud of the fact that i am arrogant... cheers to arrogant feelings...lol

its all the way pebbles and leaves.....

well... i guess today was the best sunday i have ever had in the past few years... for everybody , a perfect sunday would constitute a well deserved sleep and good food and perhaps, a movie... well, what did i do today?... we were asked to come to college to sweep and clean the college... a college whichc hasnt seen cleaning for 30 years finally got a face lift .. thanks to some commision which is due for arriving tomorrow...theys upplied us with broomsticks and rightfully ordered us to work meticulously and that we did under the watchfull eyes of my duty bound and rather pious principla( pun intended)...all the words which come out of her mouth are. well, those which i dare say , none of us would dream of using.....today was the first time, i got to see so many guys of my class pick up the shovel and dig vigorously....i guess my college is teaching us how to look after our household in the future and perhaps, driving nail in the coffin by telling us that we could consider sweeping a lucrative option if we dont end up with a job by the end of our course....
next time anybody asks you to choose a college or rather asks your opinion on any of the college..just dont give a gud opinion about my college and never cite the reason as its within the city... its just a central jail and i guess i would rather prefer the term" CONCENTRATION CAMP"... and we have a female hitler instead...i would end this by saying just tthis much......." FUCK THE INSTITUION"
PS- i guess i would like to mention my honorable if not despot of a hod.... i am running out of words to describe her.... she just doesnt qualify for the post of an office attender ...SHOOT THE HOD.....

the beginning at every end....

every wave which dies down when it comes closer gives birth to another wave which makes itscrescendo felt sooner than expected... every full stop used in a sentence marks the beginning of a brand new sentence and
similarly everything which meets with an end paves way for the starting for yet another new stuff.the biggest problem that the mind has biggot is the coaxing of the heart that everything happens for the good.... there are so many instances in life which scream aloud their credo.....for instance, when a wave washes ashore some debris, it pulls back an equal amount of waste which had remained littered on the sands...every turn of incidents in one's life should be viewed as a lesson from which we ought to learn the vagaries of life... we should view all the failures as stepping stones of success....one just doesn't stop climbing the staircase just because he happened to slip in the very first step... everybody should have that attitude and the rest will be a cake walk..like the famous einstein's quote goes" i learnt 99 ways of not doing the experiment correctly"...i am not tryin to say that we should just resign to fate... its just that sometings are definitely not in our control and we should at some point of time or the other acknowledge the presence of an omnipotent who may or may not be responsible for the disastrous turn of events...its purely a positive attitude which everyone should try to cultivate or imbibe which is bound to help them in the walk of life which they choose...now , this is not a lecture on what is already known to many.... its just reaffirming what many people have felt for themselves ....rather than scorn at such articles, it would do good if you just analysed it and then proceed to give the usual disdainfull looks....i would like to mention the mentor who had actaully helped me drive some amount of positive attitude in my brain.... though he calls himself chaos, he is far from it...lol

RE WINDING THE TAPE...

have you ever pondered over what exactly have you acheived over the span of 20 years or whatever might be your age...i am not trying to prove the much proven fact that we atleast i havent achieved that much... my friends will sit and console me saying that i have indeed achieved a miniscule amount ... and if u constantly hear what my mum threatens me with, i bet you wont have the inner desire to strive for the best..am not saying that my mum is discouraging me..its just that she has made me see things in a new dimension and scale...the big question is:what will be the status quo if i dont study well????....well, you need not sit and think about it bcause my mum has already found an easy solution for that million dollar question....she finds me as a saleable ware which she is goin to market lucratively ...this is the case because ther are so many guys out there who dont mind if their wives have just rolled out of colelge and that makes it even more a difficult path for those gals who dont want to marry right after they finish college....frankly speaking, initially i was abashed..but later on, my mind got used to the concept and now i feel.. why not????...but there are umpteen number of conditions and so many if's and but's....but my perception of the whole thing is entirely difefrent from that of the society... i belive in equal rights and the pity is that half the guys think that marrying is gettin someone to do ur dirty dishes and make sure you get hot food wenever u come home.. and basically , a caretaker or in crude terms a baby sitter...now thats what drives me crazy... i am not the one who should be taken in taht manner..i absolutely abhor it..so now you can ask me what exactly i have been trying to convey through this post... i feel that i am as confused as ever and am more than confused now...adios

somewhere i belong...

in the recent past, i suddenly discovered the solitude which had been suppressed for a long time and had subsequently got buried deep within...i discovered peace when i least expected it...when u have time in your hands, all of a sudden your life comes to a halt and thats what happened in my case too...i began retrospecting which brought me nowhere near the truth for the truth is unknown even to me...this helped me concentrate on much more important stuff...

very long a road it is

the road is lined up with spruce trees on either side which makes me wonder in amazement about how great is nature..it creates the best of things yet doesn't take credit ...it also craetes enough problems for everybody to mourn about how bad it is... i take all these in my stride towards the unknown destination and my penchant for trouble hasn't yet deserted me for it knows that without the dash of that unpredictable devil, i would be forlorn... i turn back the clock and do a quick retrospection on the course of events which has taken a heavy toll in my life ...on one hand,my heart ponders over what has happened and it lingers over the unforgetable facts of life which has been forced upon me.. on the other, my mind tells me to come out of what has happened and tells me to concentrate on what more is to come in the near future...the heart aches for known reaons and also for the unknown ...people desert you when you need them the most and they turn up to complicate the stuff which is already complicated enough on its own...what i gathered out of everything is that never give up in life for you never know what is going to happen the next minute...may be you may win a jackpot or in the worser aspect, you might meet with an accident...whatever happens, just remember that u have just one life to live and live that to the max level...adios

valentine's day post effects

ya, you are right..the much hyped valentine's day is over finally and am extremely glad about it..i seriously look at this whole affair of giving presents and the candle light dinner with contempt...its gross stupidity and i guess everybody ends up with a hole in their purse....is it that the rest of the days they just forget to love each other or give each other presents???...i guess any gal would prefer her guy to give presents out of the blue which is truely genuine rather than being prompted by the world to give their sweethearts gifts ....the celebrations should'nt be restricted to a day and am not goin to justify how it is just a marketing gimmick..to each , his own..www.chaosbudha.blogspot.com check out the valentine's post to know how many people celebrate this day with pompous gestures..lol....on the whole, its just" much ado about nothing"

symposium blasts off!!!

yesterday was the great ece symposium of my college and belive me, we ourselves dint expect it to be a stupendous success...around 950 people participated in the various events scheduled through out the day..the arrangements were fine though there was some initial hitch in the lunch arrangements which were overcome beautifully by the students and which was looked down by the teachers...that reminds me of another issue...the teachers hogging food even before the guests and they leaving promptly at 4'30 and belive me, they did absolutely nothing to deserve the credit for having conducted the symposium...i seriosuly dunno why their names were included in the presentation...let me stop the grumbling here itself...on a hapier note, the function was actully very nice..nice is an understatement...it was AWESOME... we got to wear the traditional indian costume"SARI" and it was funny in its own ways like the sudden bursts of wind hitting my body which scared me like shit ....it was seriously laughable since we dint know whther the sitting postn was better or the standing..on the whole i successfully(:D) managed to keep the sari in place for the entire event even though i was running from one floor to the other....and wat more to say.....its just going to be back to the normal boring routine from monday..no bunking classes on the pretext of symposium work...that saddens me....

happier than thou....

writing journals and may be just an essay gives so much of pleasure which i discovered only of late..its not that i dint know of that before..its jus that i hadnt experienced it and after i deleted my blog, believe me,i felt a void space slowly creeping up in my otherwise busy schedule....it took me some time for my dull brain to understand that it might be bcause am not expressing wat i want to in writings..and then there was this so called stubborness which seldom allows me to do wat i seriosuly want to do and it almost convinced me that i can usrvive without blogging..alas!! the fate had something else in store for me..i went and created a blog for myself after much persuasion from my heart...lol..enough of mokkais....

BACK WITH A BANG.......

PEOPLE..... AM BACK!!!!!!!!!! i seriously dunno whether its for gud or bad but the gist is that am back into this world or blogs and posts, etc, etc....cudnt resist for long from the enamour and glitz....so i guess u can expect a constant flow of posts hence and believe me, for all those people who asked me to cum back, this post is dedicated to u ppl....so see ya in a short while with another post...