hypocritic corporate life

being new to the corporate world, i embarked on this journey with too many expectations and trepidation.when i saw the delhi office, i felt this is probably what i wanted to do, correction - this is all i wanted to do. after a short stay there, i landed up in Chennai, the ever traditional market. first day reporting in chennai office was beyond the levels of embarrassment. business formals strictly means trousers and a formal shirt. this is not to be interpreted as a loose( read ultra loose)ensemble in the form of salwar kameez. well, i provided enough entertainment to the sales people present here. they were practically amused to see a girl doing an mba and a girl wearing formals. reporting time was 9 , atleast that was what was given to me at the corporate office. by 10'30 people trickled in. before even they settled down for the day's work, coffee was served making me wonder what did we accomplish in 10 minutes for a cup of coffee... the day passed uneventfully( atleast from my side).. the next day i decided to change a bit and ended up in a kurti pyjama.. not a bad response... i felt awkward as in Delhi, if you dint wear a lipgloss you will be looked down upon and in Chennai, if you did, you will witness everyone staring at you as if you are a movie star...other than the dress aspect, i cant see whats the fascination the higher up officials have towards the percentage terms.. why cant people say 2 out of 5 people dint want it.. does everything has to be like 40% of the people dint like it , aahh roughly 25%, depends on various factors, in short no clear answers...when you are bored, call a meeting.. thats the only way these people amuse themselves.. wait a minute, a meeting is meaningless without a ppt.. even if you just have one sentence to report, put it in a ppt with an introduction slide and a thank you slide.. make sure you use jargons like business model, strategies,product portfolio,revenue models,blah blah... the best part : after 4 weeks, this morning my manager asked me for the acceptance rate of the public for the new product, my answer : roughly 80% sir!.. bingo! off the hat percentage and the best part is they accept it.. had i told them in actual terms, i would have been looked down upon! my lifestyle has also changed... consuming 4 yeah 4 cups of coffee per day,my slides contain more percentage terms than the pictiures which i initially used to prefer.... whatta life! welcome to the corporate world!

perfect evening!

i sat on the chair, in my fourth floor balcony looking out at the tall buildings doting the skyline and the forest stretching out its wide limbs on the other side.there was a slight drizzle dropping down from an overcast sky. dark clouds loomed huge and threatened to come down heavily in few hours.a wave of cool and refreshing breeze hit my face, taking me to a far away world, free from stress and worry. looking up at the skies, the greyness brought about a contented smile on my face. the winter would now extend itself for one more week. i bit into the hot bread pakoda and relished the crispy bread teasing my taste buds. lost in the world of savoring a delicacy and solitude, i close my eyes wishing for a comforting pair of arms to encircle me...

downs and... more downs

one thing which i learnt well in the recent past is that i hate being consoled with cliches like there is always a second time or life will get better over time... i have also decided in the future if at all someone feels bad about themselves, i would rather feed them practical inputs than boring them with these one liners.. everybody knows if something dreadful has happened that it is indeed dreadful. why do people still console as if nothing actually happened? would they buy this story if they had been at the receiving end?? i feel life is really testing my enduring capabilities.. one step which i keep forward is being rewarded with two steps backward.. how long will this go on till i stop walking?

yet another scribbling

when i opened the main blogger page, i realised how long it has been since i penned down my last post. more than blogging, now i feel i am losing my control over the language after starting my mba. whether am learning enough hindi or not, my english has gone for a toss. i finally realised that mentally i might be criticizing them for their poor english and reality is that i myself have become like them.. so this is an attempt to regain the lost grounds...

ups and downs

It joins you in your joy but not when you are sad.

It is always like that and you have to accept it,

Or your life like a useless candle will never be lit.

When I look into the pages of my past again,

I know it has always been the cause of my pain.

In my sadness it made me just sadder,

And it pretended to be my success ladder.

It is to be blamed for what I am today,

I am today called mad and kept away.

As a play toy I was tossed and turned in the hands of fate,

At the same time experiencing both love and hate.

And when it came to naming my misery,

People called it a mere game of destiny.

I was told to live with what I had,

Even if my condition was pathetic and bad

I was left to myself all alone,

Out from the society I was thrown.

Like an unlucky animal or some filthy creature,

In front of me I could see my uncertain future.

I then realized that there was no use crying,

No one would look up even if I was dying.

So I revolted; but the world proved me mad,

It was then I concluded that the world was bad.

achille's heel

every morning is yet another morning. every hurried bite of hard bread with the cheapest butter constitutes yet another breakfast. never ending classes which are enough to send anyone crazy and mad happen everyday. this monotony brings in a quest for something more, something which will offset everything else faced till now, something without which you can go through this mundane life,something which is ever blooming amidst dark scenario,something without which you can not live...even if this " something" exists for a very short duration, it is worth the wait...

typical B school syndrome

one thing which i learnt after coming to a B school is that things are not what they are thought to be. after sometime, everyone here starts questioning why at all did they come here in the first place? some realise it in the first 4 months itself, some take one year..be it an experienced person or a fresher, MBA is not what it looks like from outside. everyone here is driven by a manifested,mirage goal of outsmarting the other person. no person is the same after a stint in a B school. even the most innocent creature is transformed into someone who is manipulative and extremely opportunistic. its not that there is cut throat competition. i would say there is a cut throat competition on whom next to stab from behind.you cannot blame them. thats how it is. you cannot take people for their face value and you often end up testing a genuine product for a long time and believing a faulty product at the first instant. life teaches you to beware the second time but it doesnt teach you when or with whom should you beware about.life teaches you that you have to be able to self sustain and come what may, do not ever depend on anyone because you will only be let down if they dont live upto your expectation. life teaches you to cover up your emotional self in order to live like yet another MBA grad trying to outsmart the rest. what life doesnt teach is how to cope up with blind accusations against you about not caring for the other person enough. life doesnt teach you how you can convince yourself that the drama which everyone is trying to act is actually not worth it. this is one drama in which everyone wants to be the hero and the heroine. people are confused on what they actually want. they want normal friends, friends like how they had before they joined here. at the same time, they try to convince themselves that they are not here to make friends. everyone here has come with a purpose, a goal of getting a fat salary and family, society teaches you to do everything under your control to reach your own goal. the point of conflict arises when they want others to be the way they were before they joined and they want themselves to be the way they aspire to be. to add to the confusion, people outside, the ones who are still stuck to the mirage about MBA feel that you have changed. nobody understands that you are yet another mouse caught in the giant mouse trap trying to catch the food without getting trapped.life is funny. you do everything to get it and when you actually get it, you no longer want it in earnest...