LIfe is a game

i look at either side of the alley, with my rifle ready, for any other human form.my extra sensory ears are working at
their peak performance rate, listening to any sounds coming from any direction in the fort.i am an amateur in this game
and hence, pretty apprehensive about the rules and the know how of the game.i proceed further down with the same caution
my long time friend calls out to me, making me halt and raise my rifle in caution. he approaches and gives an idea that
"lets take the enemies down together". united we stand. i listen to his idea and think yeah, i do trust him.
it makes more sense. lets do it together. so together, we move on the unknown path leading us through the pits of danger, whirpool of
emotions ranging from fear, anxiety to jubiliance to the final stage of victory. i take care of the ammunition part
of aimless firing at all the directions, just looking enough to ensure that someone has fallen down. brainy tactics,
i have always lacked.covering my various achilles heels, i have always done.

He takes care of analysing the route to be taken from the parched map of this old fort which we carried in our jacket.
he loudly thinks over the strategy which we should opt for. how many enemies are we likely to encounter in which all
paths, would the terrain be rough for us to compete effectively, would the same factor hamper other people from taking
the same path,how would we take the enemies down, will it be simply by firing, or do we have to throw our limited supply
of explosives.so yeah, with every possible issue covered by the two of us, yeah mostly by him, we marched forward in
the most congested and the most difficult path of all. high risks, high gains. that was our motto.one, two, we take them
by surprise and clever manipulation.
blood, gory scenes, bodies flung on either side of our route,i try to turn my heart into a stone.i feel the
deep sense of anguish and start to question the cause for our actions. is it necessary? cant we do without it? he tries
to convince me that it is necessary for the survival of the fittest. we need to fight it out and that i need to be
grateful to have more information and the deep forethought of my partner which many others lack.grateful i am,questioning
the outcome i did.
during the course of our journey, there was a general shift of our well defined responsibilities. i started helping him
in charting out our path and redefining our objectives.my rusted brain, started shining vibrantly, bringing forth all the
vicious and manipulative ideas which we decorated and presented to the world as effective strategy for moving forward.

we finally reached the top of the fort after a gruelling climb, both physically and emotionally.i for one was jubilliant.
we made it to the top. 100 metres away lay the goal post which would soon declare us to be the winners.almost everyone
whom we knew had been taken down in our rise to the top. obsessed with the goal, we were.with these thoughts, i looked
at my side to give a jubiliant smile to my long standing partner who had helped me so much. there was just pure air and
the scenery from the top beyond.the reality struck deep inside me.a mix of a figment of my own imagination and the angel
whom i had trusted had brought me to where i was. shocked, i decided to finish the game started by me by moving forward
to collect my trophy near the goal post.as i was moving ahead, a shot of sharp pain cruised my veins from my leg. it was
excruciable. i started stumbling while another shot of pain danced its way through my spinal cord. i turned back in vain.
i saw her smiling face while i fell down, helplessly 10 metres away from the goal post.

serendipity

foggy days, cold winters..the view from the balcony seconded that...i see him across the table..a twinkle in his eyes,the upturned corner of his lip...i have been ranting about my roommate for the last half hour over a cup of coffee and a muffin..at the end of it when i managed to get a glimpse of his face, i knew he had not been listening to a syllable of it...my breath got caught half way,looking at those eyes offering a promise of something delightful, something i have been waiting for a long time, that something...sigh! all conversation and the grumbling vanished out of my mind and it became as blank as a sheet of paper...blank it was, waiting to be splashed with splendid colors in all possible shapes and designs..trepidation mixed with excitement,confluence of shyness and raunchy emotions, confused yet having a clear vision of what looked like the inevitable outcome, i sat mesmerized by the smile...my wicked brain started coming up with different conceptualizations...those eyes sensed what was going on in my brain and assured me just that...or probably more than that...hypnotized and unable to process or make any move, i nervously licked my lips awaiting the lead...a spark of desire intermingled with love i saw getting reflected in his eyes...he stood up suddenly...confused as always, with raised eyebrows conveying what i wanted to, i stood up too...he extended his hand waiting for me to take up the challenge...not to be the type to get intimidated ,i accepted it...hand in hand, we went inside...

Optimism

I was never a believer of all the talks which happen on surrounding yourself with positive energy, positive thoughts, dont think negatively, blah blah...off late, i feel it might be true...consider the situation in my undergrad...i was forever flunking in most of the interim exams only to have a blemish free final university examinations..i did get my first class with distinction finally...between the bouts of flunking, i never ever thought that i will ever flunk in my semesters...is this classified as a positive thought? may be, i am not too sure...coming to my post grad studies, its just the reversal..never did i think that i will pass..and sometimes it did happen that i dint...now, this is a case of concern..named as a forever worrier and a pessimistic, i am not too glad about this title as never ever have i had the experience of being so...trying my level best, i am. but in vain...still trying...how i wish i could turn back time...

Wish list 2011

Here are few of the places where i wanna go next year by hook or crook...
1. Machu picchu - Inca civilization
2. Venice - gondola rides
3. Scotland- Gerrard + PS i love you hang over
4. Ladakh - pristine beauty
5. Goa - beaches and mmmm sexy clothes
6. Singapore- nearest foreign destination worth the money
7. New Zealand - awesome locale
8. Egypt - towering pyramids and the sands
9. the western ghats- forests,waterfalls,winding roads,beaches
10.Paris- oomph..city of love!

The ugly truth

This is one of the movies which i keep returning to whenever i need a good laugh.Humor, romance, sexy actor..its got it all..i never have the habit of watching the entire movie the second time(without fast forwarding)barring KKHH.The funny thing is that this is the first english movie which i have seen roughly 5 times ..by 5 times, i mean watching the entire movie right through the bloopers...amazing chemistry between the lead pair.the dialogs are damn funny and the wicked look on Gerrard's face is worth a million...altogether, a nice movie with 2 good soundtracks...i love it :)
Fav lines
1. i like woman on top *wink
2. you will never know (LOL)
3. god too many to mention here!
ps: this is not a movie review. i saw it recently. so i thought i should share my thoughts on this flick...

S.H.I.T. happens

one lesson which i learnt the hard way is not to trust people that easily. the problem is that i know i am not supposed to trust them easily and each and every time, i make an exception to the rule saying no ways it cannot be this person who will be mean to me. here comes my foolishness in thinking that world is either black or white,neglecting the deepness of the shades of gray which suppresses my each and every move to rise to the top. The makers of the resident evil probably got inspired by the B school life. Each and every one trying to push the other to the source of human blood.Last week went in me cribbing that my life is so boring that i want something to happen in my life. nothing good happens. never. it is always an unwanted complication which occurs to give me some unwanted anxiety and disturbance.how many times should i try to put on my thinking, witch cap to out beat the other person, only to figure out that they have already reached the next stage by the time i had finished my thinking process.am i slow? i dont have an answer to that. Am i that good that i am not able to think craftily? i doubt that too. what am i.always caught between good and bad, emotional and practical feelings, emotive and stone faced, beautiful and ugly looking,"good person" and "bitch"...am i calculative or do i just analyze too much of the situations which leads me nowhere.neither do i use the analysis in achieving my dreams nor do i have the peace of mind acquired due to lack of excess mental,unproductive mental activity...am i insensitive to people's problems or am i just protecting myself against a let down by the other person..am i having too much of expectation from the other person or am i justified in being non committal to them....i dont have an answer to any of these.people advise me to go with the flow. the problem is in identifying which is the right flow..pessimistic view of the placements, rosy caricature of the jobs...it does not stop with the placements. everything in life is a fight...its not that i am against fighting..i have had my share of those.. it is just that i hate fighting in an uneven terrain where i dont know the cause of the battle...it is the same feeling which you get when your own sword turns against you and the pain sears through you..unable to find the spot of origin nor able to find the spot of termination... life sucks...

blissful actions

1. walking barefoot on the grass which has overnight dew on it.
2. going out at 12 midnight for a Rs 5 ice cream
3. watching the sun rise in the beach,the sight of the waves crashing at the shore with a mild breeze playing with your hair
4. drinking a cup of hot chocolate on a chilling winter morning,looking out of the window at the encompassing white mist
5. riding a 220 cc pulsar on the ecr,complete with a leather jacket and the bowel shaking moment when you see the speedometer touch 100
6. waking up in a hill station,finding your cheeks to be so cold and face has never looked so fresh and energetic
7.waiting at the signal, the minute the signal turns green,rising the accelerator and rushing past others to lead the race.
8.waking up on a Monday morning realizing that its off today. truly blissful!